At the moment, i'm in the pits of realizing I really don't have any friends. The people I thought that were there for me treat me like i'm just a casual school friend when I thought I had just begun some life-long friendships. It was all fake, a sham. This entire summer, I've been lingering around trying to talk and hang out with people that don't care about my well-being.
I'm the kind of person that try to make people feel better and just be the best friend I can be. Like, who wouldn't want that? I'm not trying to say i'm perfect but I try my very best. I always do, with everything I do. People come to me with their problems and I try to work it out the best I can. They end up feeling better, and saying thank you. Newsflash, everyone: As many times as CareerCrusing has said it, i'm not a counselor. Yes, I try to help you out as much as I can BUT I AM HUMAN, ITS ONLY CONSIDERATE. Yes, I admit, sometimes I just wanna tell people, "I don't care about your problems, I've got enough of those myself."
I admit, I sometimes I put people's emotions above mine. I need to stop doing that. I matter so much more. Because at the end of the day, I have myself, the greatest friend I've had since day one. Do people ever ask me how i'm doing? No. How my day has been? No. How's life, doing alright? No. Wanna get some lunch and hang? Nope. Mind you, these are the same people that are spilling their everlasting emotions and secrets to me. I don't get it, do I come off as a caring person? Because in reality, unless you are my family, I don't care about you. I mean, do you care that I feel lonely in these last two years of high school? Nope.
These last two years of high school are going to be dedicated to one person: me. I'm going to experience high school with my lens, I don't need baggage friends that are empty. I'm going to go to homecoming and prom even if I don't have a date. I'm going to go to football games. I'm going to participate in clubs for me. I want the best for me. Hell, i'm taking the SAT soon! As a Junior! I'm ahead of these fake losers! Soon, I'll apply for colleges and i'll be miles above of you fakes!
I will be the greatest I can be.
I already have a great start.